just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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