I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
