At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
