I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize