Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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