one might say we're banned from that church
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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