the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
