Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
