She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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