READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
