youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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