I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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