Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
