I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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