walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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