I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
