Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
