Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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