worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
