Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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