How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
