in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
