just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
