Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
