margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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