You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
