is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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