69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
