So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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