Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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