Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
