I wannas sexs uuuuu
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
