Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
