i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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