i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
