the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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