FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
