I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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