wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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