uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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