at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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