I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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