"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
