her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize