I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
