I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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