Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
