He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize