she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
