spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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