i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
