i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
