I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
