we made out on top of his cat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
