so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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