Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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