I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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