When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
