You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
