yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
