There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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