I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
