let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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