Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need to sanitize my soul.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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